Top Gear 13.5

It’s sad to say this, but it’s true. There are only two more episodes left for this run of Top Gear. However, they seem to be getting better by the week. This time, the boys had one of their famous “Cheap Car Challenges,” Jeremy drove the new Jaguar XRF against an M5 and invents a pollution free car, while the guest was Sienna Miller.

First to the XFR. This is the Jaguar that is the competition for the M5 and the E55 AMG. It may seem a little too soft at first, but Clarkson reckons that it has what it takes to be a viable alternative to the German saloons. He loved the interior and the seats and the versatility that the car gave him. Not only is it comfortable enough for everyday use, it is powerful enough to give the M5 a run for its money. Of course, Clarkson still likes the M5 for the track, but he says that this Jaguar is just as good as the M5 in every other way, and much better on the road. High praise from a guy who loves the M5. I have to admit that I also love the M5, but to a lesser extent than Clarkson does. I really like the look of the XFR and if I had the money, would probably get one if I my only choice was between the two of them. Not only is the Jag more understated, it would be better for all of these potholed roads we have here in the Midwest. That is one great car.

The cheap car challenge that they had involved them purchasing rear-wheel drive cars for less than 1500 quid. This was in reference to the boys saying that if new drivers want to have fun, they need to get rear-wheel drive, because all new front-wheel drive cars are not any fun at all ever in a million years. Ok, so it may not have been that bad, but that was the gist of it. So they all met up in France with their cars and proceeded to go about mucking around in them. Clarkson showed up in a Porsche 944 S2. Why he is so on about these cars is beyond me, but whatever. Richard Hammond showed up in a very nice (for the money) Nissan 300ZX twin turbo! And James May? Well, he did what Captain Slow would do and showed up in a Ford Capri. Oh well, I guess he had his reasons. I was very impressed with Hammond’s purchase. For one thing, Clarkson’s car had the miles that I expected out of a 1500 quid vehicle; 202,000 or something. Hammond’s on the other hand, had only done half of that. Bascially, that thing was ready to go and it even came with Volk wheels. He got a hell of a deal. And James’ car had probably about a gazillion miles on it considering that it started to smoke and gave up completely after the third challenge. Of course, what would be a challenge without having a backup car in case one of them broke down. Much like the hated Beetle from the Africa special, this time they had the hated Morris Marina. To say that the Marina Owners Club hates Top Gear because of their previous actions toward the car would be an understatement. Eventually, it was James that had to pilot the atrocious car.

The first challenge was a race, of course, against The Stig in a front-wheel drive car. And of course, they all lost. The second pitted their cars in a 0-60 and back to 0 test in which they all had to stop before hitting something beloved to them. May had a new piano in front of him, Clarkson his drum kit, and Hammond a motorcycle. May was obviously not very happy about this test considering his car would probably be still accelerating when he hit his piano. Hammond was fairly confident and Clarkson could only hope for the best. At the starting line, all the cars accelerated cleanly away with Hamster in the lead. He was also the first to pull up and missed his bike by a clean margin. Clarkson’s Porsche was next and his car pulled up just in time and only bumped his precious drum kit. James May was very unfortunate and completely ran over his piano. I’m not sure he was even on the brakes when he hit it. This ended up seriously damaging his car and it constantly poured smoke from the engine bay into the cabin afterward. Eventually, it even died on him and he had to use the hated Morris. Their final challenge involved them driving to a ski resort and going ice racing of all things. And their competition included former Formula One driver Olivier Panis. They were all demolished, but eventually because of Hammond and Clarkson going at each other, May actually slipped through in the Marina and won their event. As it happens, a piano fell on top of it and crushed it. All in all, a good episode. Oh and in case you were wondering, the star was Sienna Miller, who was all right in the car, looked good on the couch and is going to be in a little movie called GI Joe. This weekend is more Formula One action as the teams head to Hungary. I’ll have a full report on Monday with predictions tomorrow.

 

Bourdais Out At Toro Rosso

Officially official Formula One news this week is that Toro Rosso has decided – as everyone expected – to cut their losses and say goodbye to Sebastian Bourdais. It remains to be seen whether or not he will be back in F1 with one of the new teams next year, but there is a good possibility. It also remains to be seen who will fill his seat. You can probably put good money on his seat being filled by Jaime Alguersuari, but it could also be filled later in the year by World Rally Champion Sebastian Loeb. If that does happen, the grid will be 6.5% Sebastians, as there would be Vettel, Buemi and, possibly, Bourdais in a new car. That is a bunch of Sebastians.

In other officially official news, Max Mosley has decided to step down for good!! However, the pit lanes and paddocks the world over were not celebrating and heartily partying because they don’t like the fact that Jean Todt is the man that Mosley wants to be the next FIA president. They think that Todt would be too divisive and that he would end up being just another Mosley type. The person that the teams would really love to see head up the FIA is none other than Ari Vatanen. He is a former World Rally Champion and is seen by the teams as being balanced and sensible. All of this will shake down in October, so stay tuned for more on this as the race heats up.

One last bit of news is that a Brazilian sporting network is reporting that Nelson Piquet Jr. has raced his last race. It is not known for certain yet, but it would in no way surprise me. Maybe he can be back with a different upstart team next year as well, but it remains to be seen what will happen with Junior.

Top Gear 13.4

Top gear 13.4

 

I saw what I wanted to see, and I got the answer that I thought I would. This week’s episode of Top Gear saw an epic battle between the Ford Focus RS and the Renault Megane R.26.R. While the Ford has the edge as far as creature comforts go, the Renault has the edge in the driving dynamics department. I know that Jeremy had picked the Ford to win, but Richard was right in his assessment of the Megane. It is the GT3 of hot hatches, and it showed why. The Focus has to make due with trying to cope with 300 horsepower driving and steering the front wheels. The Renault only has to make due with 227, but it is still through the front wheels. However, the Ford has a trick new front differential that Clarkson described as feeling “weird” when he went around corners. He could literally feel the tug and pull on the steering wheel when he flung it into a corner. The Megane, on the other hand, is set up to be very stiff and it showed. There was hardly any body roll in that car and it really looked to be the more fun. The first test between the two cars was a drag race. Now, the Ford eventually won (and why shouldn’t it) but for most of the time, the Megane was in the lead. And if you listened to them afterward, it seems that Jeremy only caught up to Richard after 120 mph. Now, I don’t know about you, but that would be a win for the Megane in my book. If it takes the Ford up to 120 mph to actually catch and pass the thing, there is no where on public roads that you will ever find that happening – or shouldn’t anyway. This means that the Megane was faster to 60 and to 100, and those are more like the speeds that drivers push to every day.

Then came the race around the track. They did the split screen to make the race look closer than it was (with some careful editing) but it turns out that the Megane is more than a full second faster just around that track. Now, this doesn’t mean that the Focus is bad, in fact it’s probably very good, but it just isn’t the fastest all-out hatch if that’s what you’re after. Lightness and set-up come more into play than just throwing power at something. That has been proven time and again, but this just reinforces it. So if you want a fast, loud, green or orange hatchback with very cool looking seats and a nice stereo, you will want the Ford. If you aim is to track your ride and beat the competition all the time, the Megane is what you should be looking at.

The next part of the show featured a race. This race was sort of predetermined from the start, but I’ll recap anyway. The boys (Hammond and May) would be piloting the brand new Porsche Panamera and be going up against a letter that was being mailed with the Royal Mail. They both started at the very bottom of Britain and went all the way to the top of the Island trying to beat the letter. Their car was equipped with a big 4.4 V8 and had many options that were ridiculously priced and unnecessary. For instance, did you know that leather isn’t a standard item on a Porsche Panamera? I didn’t either, but apparently it is an option. Stupid. To my unsurprised, they didn’t beat the mail, and they both liked the way the thing drove. As they should; because it’s still a Porsche. But I have to say that I agree, and always have and always will, with Jeremy Clarkson who thinks the car looks godawful. I hate the design of the car and for the same price, would get the Maserati Quattroporte GTS. Whatever.

The guest was Usain Bolt, the world record holder for the 100 meter dash and three time gold medalist in the Olympic games. His lap was very good and he ended up about fifth or sixth fastest. Very impressive.

The last bit of the show was Clarkson playing a game called British Bulldogs (don’t ask me what it is, but if any Brits out there would like to tell me, go right ahead) but he used a 500 bhp Mitsubishi Evo and went up against some Army guys. Of course he was going to get it shot to bits, that’s what happens. Though he did bring up a good point that cars used by drug dealers should be sold in bits instead of instantly destroyed. Not only could the government be making lots of cash, but they would be selling the parts to people who actually want them. Oh well. The episode started off very good and then seemed to taper off toward the end. However, next weeks episode should be a doozy. Not only will it feature the new Z4 and the Jaguar XFR, but will have a cheap car challenge and the very hot Sienna Miller! I can’t wait.